P. G. Wodehouse is awesome.
"If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."
"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."
"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."
"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."
"Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious."
"Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good."
"To be a humorist, one must see the world out of focus."